Tuesday, July 3, 2012

The Top Ten for 4th of July...

TOP Ten ways we celebrate the 4th of July in Oakland
Al Carlos

10. Alarming increase in horse hair weave flash fires.

9. Better bootleg fireworks display on the East side then the official Jack London Square extravaganza.

8. Official start of the “Who makes the best potato salad?” Citywide bragging competition.

7. People pistol whipped citizens are expected to see “stars and stripes” and not “birds and begonias”.

6. Wealthy politicos attend union picnics in cheap suits pretending to be normal, to win votes.

5. Enough left over BBQ rib bones to re construct a herd of Dinosaurs.

4. This year hope to launch a Homie to the moon from Lake Merritt.

3. Anyone dressed like Uncle Sam gets a free lap dance.

2. Raider Nation tailgaters test out new laser bun warming technology.

1. Finding Jose and ask him what he saw by the dawns early light.

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